On Our Best Behaviour by Elise Loehnen – Book Review

 

Publisher’s write-up:

‘Why do women equate self-denial with being 'good'?

We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We put others' needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. Journalist and podcast host Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses – often lauded as distinctly feminine instincts – are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of social

Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. Envy. Pride.

These so-called 'deadly sins' have been used by the patriarchy to control women throughout our history. For instance, a fear of gluttony drives us to ignore our appetites and an aversion to greed prevents us from negotiating a better salary at work.

So, what would happen if we stopped trying to be 'good'?

Provocative and bold, On Our Best Behaviour is a probing analysis of history and contemporary culture that explains how women have internalised the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it. By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Elise Loehnen shows how we can break free and discover a path toward a more balanced, fulfilled way to live.’

On Our Best Behaviour: The Price Women Pay to be Good – is a long essay from the writer and podcaster, Elise Loehnen. In this book, she explains the price women have to pay, in trying to be in their best behaviour at all times, in the western society. She bases her premise on how the seven deadly sins that have been codified in Christian societies have effectively kept patriarchal structures in place and subdued women.

I found the premise of the book interesting, wherein she introduces this idea of the seven deadly sins and their impact on the western world, regardless of whether one grows up in a religious family or not. She cites several contemporary examples on differential treatment by media for similar behaviour. It is also true that often, women have been conditioned to be ‘good/gentle’ whereas men are encouraged to be seek power, sometimes even at all costs. She cites research papers, other books and also several anecdotes from her personal life, including the fact that she is raising two sons.

Considering the premise, I wanted to like this book given I agree with the underlying statement that despite the progress made over the years, women still are at a disadvantage. However, in this book, the first thing I felt while reading it was that the author seemed to have the assumption that her reader is a woman (probably cis, not necessarily heterosexual), and I for one, am a cis male. 

While women face structural disadvantages, I felt that the author gave the seven deadly sins far more credit than they merit, and it seemed like she had already drawn a conclusion and then tried to fit her narrative into each of the chapters. Her chapter on greed was particularly shallow – where I felt the author was confused between ‘ambition’ and ‘greed’; to the extent that I know the schooling system and society, greed is not encouraged – but it is true that media might perceive male billionaires as ‘ambitious’ and similar women as ‘greedy’ or arrogant. But using that to glorify ideas such as greed and asking women to embrace greed as well (and the shallow assumption that every man is pushed by the society to be greedy), goes against the idea of the progressive narrative that the author tries to showcase.

I also felt that the author, while being very critical of the seven deadly sins and Christian values at large, she fell into the trap of any non-Abrahamic philosophy being progressive. As I mentioned earlier, I did not grow up in a Christian society or family, but rather in an environment of orthodox Hindus, who are much closer to the Vedanta philosophy that the author praised is being ‘very progressive’ and her only basis of the conclusion was one philosopher whom she met. I consider myself qualified to comment on this given my upbringing and also my later life in Western Europe (considered assimilated); I have had first-hand experience, Vedanta does espouse several patriarchal and regressive ideas and women of Hindu societies today face similar challenges – that is, battling patriarchy and subjugation (I have observed several instances of patriarchy in my own family and extended family). In fact, several people from Hindu societies embrace Abrahamic faiths because they are more ‘progressive’ but in both instances, the author embracing Vedanta and some people in Hindu societies converting to other religions are products of the same issue – their preachers cherry pick and provide the most liberal interpretation possible (though such interpretations are not agreed by all or sometimes even a majority of the practitioners of these religions).

I did not know much about the author but given how much she spoke about herself, what I could understand was that she herself is someone from a very privileged background, being a wealthy person with very good connections (she cites someone famous and then recalls their experience of meeting them and interacting with them every time). The irony is that she herself is involved in a lifestyle magazine Goop, doing precisely what several other magazines do such as setting unrealistic standards for their readers – and the magazine is also known to promote a lot of pseudoscience and alternate medicine – which was a theme that was recurrent in this book as well.

To conclude, this was a book that I wanted to like, she had an interesting premise that I agreed with, but her arguments were shallow, often made with a lack of understanding. My experience reading this book was very tiring and, on that note, I rate this book a four on ten.

Rating – 4/10

Have a nice day
Andy

 

The Northern Lights by Philip Pullman – Book Review

 

Publisher’s write-up:

‘When Lyra's friend Roger disappears, she and her dæmon, Pantalaimon, determine to find him.

The ensuing quest leads them to the bleak splendour of the North, where armoured bears rule the ice and witch-queens fly through the frozen skies - and where a team of scientists is conducting experiments too horrible to be spoken about.

Lyra overcomes these strange terrors, only to find something yet more perilous waiting for her - something with consequences which may even reach beyond the Northern Lights...’

The Northern Lights is the first instalment of the His Dark Materials trilogy written by Philip Pullman. The story follows the adventures of a teenage girl named Lyra Belacqua, an orphan living in Jordan College in Oxford. Though orphaned, she is from an influential family and her uncle is the well-known politician and researcher, Lord Asriel. This world created by the author has certain other aspects too – while most locations that are talked about are in the real world, there are some elements of fantasy, such as humans having their souls visible, in the form of a daemon, taking the form of an animal, representing their personality (thus, daemons of children could frequently change their form, but not of adults).

The story starts with Lyra listening to a conversation that she was not to, while hiding in the Retiring Room of the college and sabotaging an attempt by the Master of the college to poison Lord Asriel, and listening all about this new phenomenon in the North, about Dust – mysterious particles which Asriel wishes to research further. On the other side, there are also a lot of children missing, never to be found again. The most affected were the Gyptians, who were a nomadic group mostly travelling on boats and they are desperate to get the children back from the group who are colloquially known as the Gobblers. In the meantime, Lyra is given an alethiometer by the master of Jordan College before she leaves on her long journey – a device that could tell the truth if one has the capacity to read the symbols in them.

I liked the world built by the author – the idea of the soul of a human being manifesting as an animal visible to everyone was interesting and that was integral to the life of every human in this world. Despite the fantasy elements of the book which comprised armoured fighter bears, witches and mysterious phenomena; it was also happening in the real world in places like Oxford or Svalbard – and with peoples whom we are familiar in real life, such as the Tatars or the Germans. The character of Lyra was also someone whom I really enjoyed when I first read this book as a teenager, considering I was off a similar age – it was good to see someone that bold, going any lengths to help people who are close to her or challenge the adults when she felt something was not right, qualities many wished that they had (I certainly did). I also liked the portrayal of the Gyptian people and their culture, and how, though they were largely seen as ‘outcasts’ and seen negatively – they were people with principles who would not bend them despite offers of money or fame.

The author maintained a mysterious element throughout the novel – why was the alethiometer given to Lyra – and why did she have to take up the journey to go Svalbard to give it to her uncle Asriel? Moreover, what was Dust, the particle that everyone is researching on and willing to perform some of the most gruesome acts to advance further on researching these particles? Why are the children missing and why are they being taken away?

Amidst all these questions, the author also introduced aspects to the world, such as the relationship that the armoured bears had with other bears and humans, the factionalism within the witches, the different alliances people had (for instance, Gyptians felt grateful to Asriel as he was the only politician who had fought for their rights).

When I read it a second time now, in my thirties, I still enjoyed this novel, partly to do with nostalgia and also partly to with the fact that I could observe a lot more nuances this time around. Some of it bothered me, such as the stereotyping of the Tatars – while one could say that this was common perception during the period of this novel, barring once, these views were hardly challenged by any of the characters. Moreover, while the Gyptians were an interesting people, I would have liked to know more on them – I am sure that the author is inspired by the Romani people while conceptualising them, however, I was unsure why they had Dutch names or were even speaking Fens-Dutch as their first language and this history could have added more depth to the novel and the world that the author had built.

Overall, this is a great fantasy novel, I enjoyed it as a teenager, and I am sure that it could still be read by young adults to this day – particularly for the world built by the author, the different human relationships and unlike many young adult fantasy novels – there was not a clear split between good and evil, several characters were grey, such as Lord Asriel, the Master of Jordan College or the armoured bear Iorek Byrnison; often doing things that are morally questionable. Lyra’s own character was equally enjoyable and the end of the book certainly made me want more of it and I shall elaborate further on the review of the sequel – The Subtle Knife. On that note, I would award The Northern Lights a rating of eight on ten.

Rating – 8/10

Have a nice day,
Andy

Pedro Paramo by Juan Rulfo – Book Review

 

Publisher’s write-up:

‘In this stunning masterpiece of the surreal, Juan Preciado sets out on a strange quest, bound by a promise to his dying mother. Embarking down a parched and dusty road, Juan goes to seek his father, Pedro Páramo, from whom they fled many years ago.

The ruined town of Comala is alive with whispers and shadows. Time shifts from one consciousness to another in a hypnotic flow of desires and memories, a world of ghosts dominated by the tyranny of the Páramo family. Womaniser, overlord and murderer, Juan's notorious father retains an eternal grip over Comala. Its barren and broken-down streets echo the voices of tormented spirits sharing the secrets of the past in an extraordinary chorus of sensory images, violent passions and unfathomable mysteries.’

Pedro Paramo is a short classical novel from Mexico, written by the writer Juan Rulfo. I was intrigued by the fact that the foreword of my edition was written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez – which clearly set expectations on what kind of a novel I could expect.

It traces the journey of Juan Preciado, who goes to the town of Comala, a fictional town in Mexico, in search of ‘Pedro Paramo’, who is told to be his father, by Juan’s mother at her deathbed. He heads to seek his rightful dues but upon reaching Comala however, he finds that the place is a ghost town and he is invited by an acquaintance of his mother who begins to tell the story of the long dead Pedro Paramo – an influential person in the area who owned the ranch Media Luna, and had fathered several sons with different women, though had acknowledged only one, Miguel – who created several problems, including having committed rape and murder. Juan also is scared as he eventually realises that none of the people are living but he has just been interacting with the spirits.

I enjoyed the air of mystery around the novel – who is Pedro Paramo and who are all these people around him? Would Juan get anything out of this journey at all? Pedro’s own character development was done well – he who was distrusted by his father as he regarded Pedro to be incompetent, but goes on to be a formidable figure in the community; also how he is forced into a marriage that he does not want owing to the debts of his father  and is unable to marry Susana, the woman whom he truly loved. Despite having a large estate, he does not have a successor whom he could be proud of given the problems that Miguel had caused that he had to often seek forgiveness from the priest and last, his own influence was being threatened given Mexico was going through a revolution at that time – where people rose up against the government who were favouring landlords like Pedro Paramo.

Mystery aside, despite the relatively short length of the novel, there were over ten noteworthy characters, each having their space enough to stay in your mind. This book is not an easy read – you need concentration to absorb the magic realism around the ghosts, the non-linear narration and even a change of narrator during the course of the story, but then, I found the narration so interesting that I finished the whole novel in one sitting over a ninety minute stretch.

Having not known much of Mexico’s politics, it was interesting to know that the society was still very feudal in the early 20^th century and a landlord like Pedro Paramo had the power to decide the fate of a whole town if he wished to; it was also good to see the author allude to these political aspects and bring those elements into the novel, making it wholesome.

I have read works of Gabriel Garcia Marquez before and this reminded me a lot of One Hundred Years of Solitude and based on the foreword, I understand that Marquez himself got the motivation to write his masterpiece after having moved to Mexico City and having been introduced to Pedro Paramo and other works of Juan Rulfo. Thus, my expectations having read that introduction was very high and this novel certainly met those expectations.

To conclude, I thoroughly enjoyed the novel and it has been a while since I read a novel with full concentration without having to move or being distracted by notifications on my phone. This is an excellent novel for those who enjoy the works of authors like Marquez or Rushdie or anyone who wishes to try novels of this genre, this is less than 150 pages and thus, it would be quite a short read and is highly recommended. On that note, I award the book a rating of nine on ten.

Rating – 9/10

Have a nice day,
Andy

The Smart and the Dumb by Vishal Vasanthakumar – Book Review

 

Publisher’s write-up:

‘Education achieves many things- it pulls people out of poverty, enables socio-economic mobility and promises a route to dignity. But what does education mean to different people, what does it do and whose needs are being met by education?

Even as globalization and format education have established themselves as unquestionable truths, only a privileged few have cornered the benefits. In this process, education is being reconceived and its promises are being rewritten. Today, there clearly is more to education than going to school, getting credentials and securing a job.

This book is an attempt to capture what this ‘more’ is, by exploring education’s connections to caste, class and gender and understanding how they affect the promise of education. Among other stories, it covers the fractured realities of children in Manipur who want guns for Christmas, describes how a ban on toddy-tapping is affecting educational choices in Tamil Nadu and explains why a grandmother chose to get her fifteen-year-old granddaughter married to a seventeen-year-old truck driver in rural Rajasthan. The book deftly paints a portrait of the political and cultural processes that impact education in modern India.’

The Smart and the Dumb is a book on how society and politics impact education and policies around it in India, by the Cambridge and Harvard educated sociologist, Vishal Vasanthakumar. The book is centred around the author’s travelling across India – particularly the states of Rajasthan in the north-west of India (borders Pakistan), Manipur in the north-east (borders Myanmar), and the author’s own home state in Southern India, Tamil Nadu. It not only features the new insights gained by the author in interacting with people in different places, but also the author’s own personal experiences in going through an elite private education in Chennai, Tamil Nadu – and the impact of privilege that he himself has had – be it the author being English-speaking or caste hierarchies.

The book is split into seven chapters – the first is about a community in Kotdi village in Rajasthan that follows a tradition of marrying girls in their family at a young age (below 18, which on paper, is illegal in India) in order to ‘protect them’ and getting girls educated is seen as being less important than their marriage. The author shows both – the ones who resigned to the system and those who tried to fight against it. It then moves to Manipur – in the midst of ethnic tensions and constant conflict between the dominant Meitei community (mainly Hindu) in the valley and the Kuki and Naga community in the hills (predominantly Christian). The author touched on how active conflict – between insurgent groups and the Indian group affected the civilian population, including children’s education and teachers, and the choice of gifts the children wanted for a festival.

The book then talks of the private coaching that happens in India outside of the school system – to prepare 16 and 17 year olds for competitive entrance exams to engineering schools; particularly in the town of Kota, Rajasthan – where the local economy is entirely based on students coming there to study and the challenges that they face.

The angle the book introduced on privilege and the perceptions of the dominant group was interesting; on the government of Tamil Nadu’s ban on toddy – a palm based liquor native to Tamil Nadu, which severely affected income levels of palmyra tree climbers, including affecting educational choices of their children. Interestingly, Tamil Nadu is not a state under prohibition, but toddy is not perceived well by the policy makers but those brewed in distilleries were very much permitted.

The chapter the author had on a ‘culture olympics’ between elite private schools in the south-eastern Indian city of Chennai was highly relatable for me personally. The author touches upon privilege, caste hierarchies and what is considered as art worthy of recognition. It largely serves children of similar backgrounds – upper caste, English speaking and the events too, largely favour arts appreciated in these communities – for instance, a hip-hop Tamil performance or a very humorous speech in Tamil would not be accepted by the schools or the judges. Having studied in such a school in Chennai, and having been to these ‘culture olympics’ as one of the ‘delegates’ for my school, I totally understand the privileged circles I was in, right now, in hindsight, but I was completely oblivious to it back then and did not hesitate to make a snide remark on someone’s fluency in English without knowing the circumstances that enable a teenager to be fluent in India. Much as this chapter focused on Chennai, I have studied in six other similar private schools across India and the author is right to suggest that these events are often a symbol of retaining the privilege than trying to use education to distribute the benefits of education to the wider population.

While that chapter was personally very relatable to me, I feel that this event is perhaps particular to the city of Chennai, whereas, it is not a phenomenon in other cities. That said, maybe the publisher did not choose the best of captions for the book – while the author has travelled in the east, north and south of India, this book certainly is about politics of education in some parts of India, but could have had more impact if there were more inputs from certain other parts of the country (as situation varies widely from state to state in India).

I feel this book is important given the current political climate in India, with the overreach of the current Indian government led by a prime minister with far-right leanings; often with the support of the privileged elite of the country, such as the extended families of the author and even that of myself. The last chapter written by the author demonstrated it very well, where a school principal did not appreciate the mention of Jawaharlal Nehru and Manmohan Singh by the author, both former Indian prime ministers from the Indian National Congress – the current opposition party against the Hindu nationalist politics of the present government.

This book – given it is written in English, should at least be read by those in India who come from such privileged English speaking backgrounds, many of whom are oblivious to the privilege that they have had (I myself was ignorant of it till I was 19 and travelled around the country). I personally enjoyed reading the book and also appreciated the conclusions derived by the author – based on all the research and travelling that the author has done for this book. The author does discuss the exploitation of the term ‘middle class’, everyone, including those within the top 2% of the country when it comes to income levels, identify themselves under this class and this book could help them get out of that bubble.

On that note, I award the book a rating of eight on ten.

Rating – 8/10

Have a nice day,
Andy

The Other Significant Others by Rhaina Cohen – Book Review

 

Publisher’s write-up:

‘Why do we place romantic partnership on a pedestal? What do we lose when we expect one person to meet all our needs? And what can we learn about commitment, love, and family from people who put deep friendship at the center of their lives?

In The Other Significant Others, NPR's Rhaina Cohen invites us into the lives of people who have defied convention by choosing a friend as a life partner. Their riveting stories unsettle widespread assumptions about relationships, including the idea that sex is a defining feature of partnership and that people who raise kids together should be in a romantic relationship. Platonic partners from different walks of life—spanning age and religion, gender and sexuality and more—reveal the freedom and challenges of embracing a relationship model that society doesn't recognize. And they show that orienting your world around friends isn't just the stuff of daydreams and episodes of The Golden Girls, but possible in real life.

Based on years of original reporting and drawing on striking social science research, Cohen argues that we make romantic relationships more fragile by expecting too much of them, while we undermine friendships by expecting too little of them. She traces how, throughout history, our society hasn’t always fixated on marriage as the greatest source of meaning, or even love. At a time when many Americans are spending large stretches of their lives single, widowed or divorced, or feeling the effects of the "loneliness epidemic," Cohen makes the case that one model of a flourishing adulthood—lifelong romantic partnership—isn't enough. A rousing and incisive book, The Other Significant Others challenges us to ask what we want from our relationships—not just what we’re supposed to want—and transforms how we define a fulfilling life.’

The Other Significant Others is a book on adult relationships other than monogamous relationships written by the journalist and social commentator, Rhaina Cohen. The book starts with the premise as to how society tends to promote certain types of relationships more than others. This is all the more pertinent when governments tend to provide tax benefits to married couples or in some countries (like France), to registered civil partnerships but it is not extended to other co-dependent adult relationships.

The writer brings about the story of people from several walks of life, and also different sexual identities (straight, gay, asexual, polyamorous, etc.). The author certainly brings about an important conversation that needs to be had, given relationships of adults no longer revolve around the family system. The author gives several examples of adults who lived together as platonic friends under the same roof, sometimes for financial reasons but other times, even for non-tangible reasons such as emotional support and companionship.

While the author did bring about an important subject, this book was a dull and difficult read for me. To start with, she went too deep into personal stories of people who did not interest me. She had established her point within the first 30 pages and anything beyond that felt like a pointless repetition and more and more anecdotal stories to establish the same fact.

The book is also very US centric, which is not something I would blame the author for, but again, people from certain cultures might feel the points are not relevant for them. For instance, she talks about ‘touch’ being important in forming a close relationship and it is usually frowned upon in non-romantic contexts; which might be true of US, but is not true in several other parts of the world, several cultures within South Asia for instance where touching in platonic friendships is normal. So, if one is reading this book from outside the US, they would need to accordingly adapt it to their circumstances.

I also feel that there are many economic / legal factors for which things are moving not as fast as they ought to. To put in my personal opinion, I do not agree with the governments de facto establishing certain relationships to be more privileged than others (especially with falling birth rates in the West – with many countries often giving several handouts to families with young children), I can understand it while disagreeing with it. However, the author does not address much of these points in this book.

To conclude, I would say that the author brought up a discussion that is necessary to be had in the society. However, this should not have been more than an op-ed in a newspaper and the book did not establish anything new nor did I have any moments of epiphany upon reading this book. On that note, I would award the book a rating of four on ten.

Rating – 4/10

Have a nice day,
Andy

On Abolition of All Poltical Parties by Simone Weil

 

Note: I read the essay in French

Cliquez ici afin de lire mon avis en français

On the Abolition of All Political Parties is a short essay by the French philosopher and activists, Simone Weil, known for her engagement with the trade unions and anarchists. There are only 48 pages in my edition and is very easy to read.

A powerful quote that I liked at the beginning of the essay was – ‘Parties are organisations officially constituted to systematically kill the soul of truth and justice’ (translated by me).

She argues for a system that prioritises justice and truth in politics, which according to her is not possible so long as political parties exist.

As it is a political essay, I need to add my personal opinions as well. Her arguments are well presented but she has given a solution that is too simple for a very complex problem. It is true that political parties curtail the powers of an individual elected representative by imposing the party line. However, in any gathering, there would be some natural evolution towards the regrouping among individuals with similar ideas and goals which would eventually lead to formation of some sort of a political grouping similar to that of political parties we have today. An example of this is Nebraska in the US, which officially has a non-partisan legislature, but the elected representatives group themselves as Democrats and Republicans anyway.

To conclude, I would say that this is an interesting essay and a discussion that we ought to have in the society to improve the quality of political discussions and debate, but her arguments present both the strengths and shallowness of her proposal at the same time. I award the essay a rating of six on ten.

Rating – 6/10

Have a nice day,

Andy

Flowers of Darkness by Tatiana de Rosnay – Book Review

 

Publisher’s write-up:

‘Author Clarissa Katsef is struggling to write her next book. She’s just snagged a brand new artist residency in an ultra-modern apartment, with a view of all of Paris, a dream for any novelist in search of tranquility. But since moving in, she has had the feeling of being watched. Is there reason to be paranoid? Or is her distraction and discomfort the result of her husband’s recent shocking betrayal? Or is that her beloved Paris lies altered outside her windows? A city that will never be quite the same, a city with a scar at its center?

Stuck inside, in the midst of a sweltering heat wave, Clarissa enlists her beloved granddaughter in her investigation of the mysterious, high tech building even as she finds herself drawn back into the orbit of her first husband who is still the one who knows her most intimately, who shares the past grief that she has never quite let go.’

Note: I read the French version of the book

Cliquez ici afin de lire mon avis en français

Flowers of Darkness is a novel by Tatiana de Rosnay published in 2020. The main character of the novel is Clarissa Kastel, an old writer past her prime in her 70s, has just moved to Paris. It is not the Paris of today but in an unspecified date in the future, highly impacted by climate change, artificial intelligence and terror attacks. For instance, the Eiffel Tower no longer exists, destroyed by a recent terrorist attack, and since this event, the city has changed a lot.

Clarissa moves into a residence that is dedicated to artists and writers, called CASA where everything inside the house is managed by an AI assistant, to whom Clarissa gives the name Mrs. Dalloway, named after the character from Virginia Woolf’s novel. Clarissa has just been separated from her husband and with her, she has her daughter and grand-daughter. Little by little, Clarissa starts to feel uncomfortable in her new apartment. She tries to raise the issue to CASA, but her complaints are ignored. So, is it an old writer hallucinating things or is CASA really snooping into all details of her life through their AI assistant? That is the main theme of the novel.

It is not the first time that a novel is talking about a dystopian future where AI has full surveillance which controls our life. The repetitive nature of the theme is not my problem as it is still possible to have a good novel by the way in which it is presented. However, in this novel, she has tried to bring in too many themes – climate change, artificial intelligence, surveillance and even terrorist attacks (which was not at all necessary for this particular novel) and she did not particularly go deep into any of these themes she had chosen. Some were more important than others such as surveillance but overall, none too profound to leave a mark.

It felt to me like reading a draft and not a novel published by a well-established author given the number of references to Virginia Woolf or Romain Gary at random, without much relevance. It felt like it was only to show the dual identity of Clarissa, who is French and British, like the author of the novel Tatiana de Rosnay herself (so, even the main character is a version of the author herself).

To conclude, I had a very difficult read, and was not pleasurable at all. The idea was interesting but with a horrible narration. I award the novel a rating of two on ten.

Rating – 2/10

Have a nice day,
Andy